Dream of Enlightenement

Photo by: Alicepopkorn 

 That was the title of another audio with Byron Katie, actually there were 2 parts. She was again cleaning some stories around enlightenement, few of them were:"if I go deeper to the work my teacher will leave me; I hate experience of God because it became a curse; I am angry at all the awake people because they don't want to give it to me; I am angry at all the awake people who got it easily". Then she was speaking about silence in the spiritual communities and silence of the world, silence which is everywhere. When you see that your teacher is the world and you don't limit yourself to some one body you are free. In some point she gave some definition of enlightenement:"woman sitting on the couch, that's it" :)

 You can also use your teachers as your own story, projection. In this way that is another possibility to see your own truth. For instance:"he shall give me awakening" turns into:"I shall give awakening to myself" ect. She was talking a story how for seven years people would come to her and wanted to be healed, would touch her and then came later after some time, but she didn't like the part which says:"I will heal you" and the idea that people belived it. So, in the work you can see that it is more like "I heal myself". Then responsibility is in the right place. When I was listening to those sessions I had much movement in the body of energy, close to the end there was some really heavy woman who was kind of terribly frustrated and screemed while doing the work, but at the same time you could feel how everything is leaving her and how slowly stone is falling from her heart.

        lots of Love :)

 

Aware Sleep

 Photo by: Lepiaf.geo 

 Last night was kind of strange in a sense that I was almost all the time aware during the sleep and I didn't do anything, it was just the action of Energy in the body and that created the situation where I was aware. But, there were no horrors, just kind of strange state. This time movement of that Energy was balanced and there was nothing to be afraid of, at its worse it was a bit uncomfortable if you belived that you must sleep ect. During the day before sleep I was listening to some more Byron Katie, it was nice session about husbands and what they apparently shoudn't do. At times it was really funny, like "I lost that money", Katie comments:"than I am spared" :) She was saying that when there is light, darkness can't hide and fear dissolves, that's like putting awareness to the fearful thoughts and seeing that they are just thoughts and not reality. At other time somebody was reciting that beautiful prayer of Sint Francis. Quite moving. Then they discused somebody beating the child and the question was "in that situation, what's the worst position here? who would you righter be, child or the one beating?" People righter agreed that the worst was to be the one beating and from that understanding came instant compassion. Thanks Katie :)

      be the Love

  

Working Outside

Photo by: Katmere 

 I was just shoveling off snow to clear path to our house. Sky is today quite clouded, but it is relatively warm and air outside is fresh. After working a bit I got somewhat tired, but it was enought to rest one minute and I could continue, it was nice exercise to feel the movements of hands and legs, to breath fresh air, to listen to some birds. Then in certain point my neighbour, some old lady came out of the house and we had some chat, in certain sense it wasn't important what she was talking about, but the sense of communication, the sense of being here together was. That was my feeling anyway, then came a granchild of my other neighbour. She is very kind, cheerful and beautiful girl of about 14 or 15 years old. I said hello and was watching as she was entering the house of her grandmother. It turned out that she went out after a while to make shopping for her granny. Sweet, isn't it? And then after some more shoveling granny itself came out of the house and I had some chat with her, she was asking about my Mom and how are we heating our house, I explained that we just bought some more coal, but nonetheless my parents want some more wood, because it gives nice, warm atmosphere in the kitchen. And again I had the same feeling that it wasn't so much important what she was saying but her smile and sense of being here together was. It was really nice to shovel off this snow until it wasn't because I got really tired and stopped :)

 Then, even when I write it, althought maybe 2 hours passed, I feel sense of relaxation and enjoyment. So, some exercise, some movement, some grounding, some work outside is good for my (your's) inner peace. I guess, that's the case.

        take Care :)

 

Probably the End of Kriya

Photo by: Twoblueday

 hi :)

 I was doing yestarday morning surarshan kriya and felt quite good during the day, but then when it came to sleep there was a lot of energy and all my system seemed to be to much stired up. There was much movement all over the body energetically, some flashes of light and then I felt asleep, but I woke up around 3 a.m. and I had kind of dream where I was circling very fast in sort of spin of light or something, was quite scared and had a voice to eat something, went to kitchen and had two pieces of bread with processed cheese. Then somehow was able to fall asleep and had quite ok sleep. Despite that, I woke up with a little dizzines and still that feeling that energies of my body are too speed up and a bit shaky. So, after this event I decide to stop with doing sudarshan kriya. It seems that it is good but not so much for this body/mind type. Supose I have too much wind in the system and kriya even more stimulates that element then there is sort of out of balance situation. So, I am not saying sudarshan kriya is bad, but just that right now for this body/mind it is not the best approach and even probably harmful. From the eastern prectices it seems that yoga is more grounding and building some earth element, where you can walk on the earth with your two legs steady holding the ground. But here I must admit that I was never really particulary excited about it, so probably I just need to do some more movement when possible, like for instance today we have some snow to put away, to make space for the horse. And since I always liked to work with the mind and thoughts "the work" of Katie seems to be very simple and natural choice. On the other hand it is not necessarily true that you have to do anything at all, maybe there is no stressful thought any more and your (mine) work is done. Time will show. Hey, but we have heard that there is no time, hahahhahahahhaaa :)

            be the Love 

 

All Laws Are Perfect

Photo by: Throught Your Eyes 

 Listening again to Byron Katie, they were discussing the social activism and for instance changing the unfair laws. Surprising was what Katie said:"in my world, all the laws are perfect", I was thinking:"Can't it be that sometimes action of the Heart might want to change some old laws which we feel are not fair ect?". But, I understood what she meant when she said:"I mean, when you rely on any laws for your inner peace, you have a problem". And here I must agree with her, it doesn't mean that I might not take part in some activity to change some external rules, but I will not delude myself that I base my peace on this result. Some other interesting questions she has asked:"how do you know that you are?", "what does belief in reincarnation gives you?", "how do you know that floor is floor?". This questions might be a bit puzzling at first, but because of their freshness, they have certain strenght. I found that they help me to notice some beliefs that I might not be aware of and question them. Then was another nice statement: "you are my projection", I belive that you are successful, happy, sad, talented, stupid ect., all that is my projection. In reality you are projection of my inner world until you are not and I recognize mySelf everywhere and in everybody.

      love & Light

 

Krishnamurti Again

Photo by: Djordje

 

Finally I finished reading "Ending of Time" by Jiddu Krishnamurti, well that is his conversation with David Bohm, who was scientist. Jiddu is constantly repeating that human mind is not personal, and insight into the nature of reality happens, it doesn't happen to me or to you, it just happens. They were discussing the possibility of healing the mind and the brain, they kind of agreed that mind which has an insight will renew all the cells in the brain and that such a brain can live even 200 years. That seems very much like an idea which some yogis have shown to be true. Of course he agreed that length of life is secondary to the quality of life now. He was not giving any practice, more like "wait and see", which are the words I heard from Papaji. Personally (there is no person :) I belive that he was wrong here and that it was one big obstacle in transmission of his massage, but OK, people might argue about it. There was one nice methapor:"material universe is like a body of the universal mind" and in reality you are that eternal now which holds that. In some other place he said that ground exist which is totally imovable, which means that if all other things fall apart or change, this one "thing" is rock solid and will never wither. Another interesting point: difference between universal mind and the ground, he was holding a belief that the ground is even beyond the universal mind and that is similar to the Spirit and God in christian metodology, or Atma and Brahman in vedas. Other important words: attention, listening, understanding, willingness. When one gives all his heart, mind, all his being towards this inquiry then there is possibility to go deeper and deeper where true compassion, love, inteligence and peace exist. This would be like kind of very brief impression after reading this book.

      love & Light

 

From Darkness into Light

Photo by: A Chilling Soul

 

 Yestarday I finished listening to "Loving What Is"
 by Byron Katie, it was a gift indeed. The hardest
 part was when she was working with some
 women who was sexualy abused as a child.
 But, what inquiry has revealed was even more
 shocking. And it was, that on some deeper level
 she did it to herself because wanted to get love.
 That is pretty amazing to see what are we able
 to do for love. As long as we don't recognise that
 we are love and have everything, this kind of
 tragic search for love and approval can lead to
 many destructive behaviours. The woman agreed
 that the worst part of all that was not the penetration
 but the moment when the man left her alone in
 the car. Really heartbreaking. My prayer can be
 that we don't have to learn love in such extreem
 situations, but am I God to judge in his place?


        be in Peace

I need more money?

 

 Photo by: Pingu1963

 Today I started to do some work with "the work". And as Katie suggest it is the best to put it on paper because mind is very quick and will try again and again escape from inquiry. There were other thoughts, but this one with money seems to be so obviuous and so popular in western world that I had to try it again. Somehow I know, that I don't need more money, but on the other hand I live with my parents and they put a little pressure that I should make money to give my share to the bills. Seems quite obvious, isn't it? So, I did pursue this direction of inquiry, to find out what are deeper belives behind it and if it will have significance for me. The first question was answered in positive, second (are you absolutely sure about it?) not, maybe I can be sure in 98%, but not absolutely. And here is the space, I found that this belief creates tension and sense of never making it, sense of not being fulfilled and not being where you are. So, your peace and hapiness is in the future, when you will reach your goal, in this case - more money. It is pretty frustrating way to live.Who whould I be without this thought? Well, this is really amazing question, I found out that I don't know. For sure I will be more here and now, for sure there is unknown, for sure there is more happiness now. In this case turnaround is righter obvious:"I don't need more money". There was very little second when I felt intense joy, but that was so tiny that you might have tendency to abolish all this business. I did similar inquiry with:"I need to find job", because it is very similar to the first one, not identical, but very similar. Something very interesting surfaced, I am not even sure in which place exactly, but that I hold on to those thoughts because I am afraid of my father, afraid of his agression. This was a big surprise. We will see what comes next.

         love & Light

     

Amazing Turnaround

Photo by: Kaibara87 Yes, I was listening yestarday to Katie's "Loving What Is", next chapters. She was going there by details concerning "the work", there were few more conversations with people. But what stroke me the most was story of some man and his use of turnaround, he was a thief and drug user. What he did after learning "the work" was going to all the people he has stolen from and said who he was, what he did and that he wants to make it somehow right. Amazing was, nobody called police and most people said something like:"wash my car" or "paint my house" ect. He had list of all those people and after doing his duty he would put a sign next to the name and going next until his list would be finished. He said that all those works were "God, God, God". When I listened to this I felt kind of light entering my all body. I have it when I hear something inspiring, like when Sri Sri was talking about this institution for kids and how he took it on himself without knowing where the hell money will come form , than it was similar experience in the body. Then I was thinking how possibly I can use this idea in my own life? Are there areas where I still can make this kind of turnaround? This would be a bit different form of meditation you know          love & Light

He Should, She Should, They Should, It Should

 Photo by: Arash Behshadpoor

 This morning I had short sitting session, than came breakfast with my Mom, who was frustrated because of her husband who "should" be kind to her and not leave without saying where he left. So, I was listening to almost never ending complains, how bad he is, how imature he is, how unresponsible he is, how always he was like that ect. I was watching my own judgements about her:"she shouldn't be like this, she is sick, she has problem with herself ect." Since that is not a first time I encounter similar behaviour I was trying just to be the space of awareness for all this, not to argue with her, not to judge her verbally, althought I noticed it was kind of impossible for me to stop my inner judgement. After while there were moments of awareness and she catched herself like:"oh, I am doing this again, I shall stop ect." But, since here the habit is very strong mind has a tendency to go back to it. After some more time I noticed I felt really discomfortable with listening and escaped to my room, I noticed also that most of the time I was avoiding eye contact with her. Despite my good intentions unconsciusly I was isolating myself and avoiding her, her heavy complains ect. Few days ago I got CD's from my friend Ela and there is one with "Loving What Is" of Byron Katie. Since I was dreaming about Katie next day after I got the CD's I thought:"It might be a good idea to listen again to her", this morning occurence was so much similar to this what she is talking about. And I did listen to the the first chapter, again went throught the trills of her own awakening and by some inspiring stories of healing. Somehow I feel tired to do the work, but if I feel that my Mom should do it, then perhaps it is time to do it myself :) And when it comes to reality we have now so much snow here, the biggest snowfall ever in Pcim, ever I remember, looks so amazingly beautiful and mysterious, for some it is also a reason to do "thework", hahhahahahahaaa :)

           Love & Light

 

Meeting the Judge

 

 Photo by: Kradlum

  I met yestarday my old friend from the chess club and it has happened so, that he is now a judge. Nothing happens by coincidence right? Well, my motivation was to help my brother who had some problems and questions regarding law. It is also true, that I was courious what he is doing nowadays, how his life unfolded ect. And he has a twin, which quite amazingly is also a judge but in some other city. It turned out that he became very religious man, his pathwas traditional catholic way. He said it helped him a lot and now he goes every day to church and his faith is alive. He had many points in common, however I could feel his gentle resistance towards my more eastern point of view. Maybe not even point of view but experience and path, I said that I meditate regulary, that God did change my life completely and this is deepening somehow. But, he saw differenciationbetween meditation and prayer, for me it is the same in a way. Than he was quite dogmatical that Truth can only be found in catholic religion, that is definitely dangerous point, but I can understand that this is his direct experience and he somehow holds on to this. If he is more peaceful and happier, that's fine. And somehow I felt that it is the case for him. But still I felt his gentle pressure and willingness to argue his rightness, I wasn't really interestred in this, close to the end of the meeting I was a bit tired from listening and trying to find some common ground, at times I felt him in the belly. But at other times I felt the presence of silence between us and that was wonderful. Sadly it turned out that he will not be able to help my brother, he helped only in so far as claryfying certain points, which were maybe not so clear before. I gave him hug at the end and we parted in sence of gratefulnes, togetherness. Whatever is someone's path it is better to seek common ground and unity that differences and arguments, after all Love can't be different and every heart can recognize Its presence.

         be the Love

 

 

Too Much Electricity?

 hi


 Yesterday I had again total break from
 computer. It was because probably I
 was too long before screen the day before
 and had sleeping problems. Just like if
 my "third eye" was too active. It seems
 that it wasn't the case of doing kriya in
 the morning or taking the shower, those
 things normaly are beneficial, so my
 conclusion was that problems arose
 because of computer energy radiation.

 Sometimes on the astral layer you can
 catch some upleasant stuff online, but
 that is especially true if you go to a liitle
 bit suspicious sites with erotic content
 or advertisement ect. It wasn't the case
 in those last days, so I was surprised
 by the issue. But anyway it is good to
 watch out with too much of artificial
 energies and radiations.

 Walking in nature is much more in
 alinement with the awake, enlightenment
 energies and your body gives you good
 clues to be sure about it. Last night sleep
 was good, but I have to say also that I didn't
 do any kriya practice yestarday. So, practice
 or not to practice? I don't know. Perhaps
 your inner peace is the guide :)


        take Care

Yes to the Present Moment

Photo by: KevinDooley 


 Somebody came to him and asked:"will
 you give me 2000$ for drugs and drink?"
 and he said:"sure I always say yes to the
 present moment". Another time he was asked
 by his uncle:"will you enroll in our army, there
 is important mission in Vietnam?" and he said:
 "yes, sure, I always say yes to the present
 moment" with a big smile and happy face.
 Then in Vietnam he got orders:"you have
 to bomb that village, there are only woman
 and children but this is essential to our
 plans". He said:"yes, sure, I always say yes
 to the present moment", maybe this time
 he didn't have such a happy face, but still,
 we are learning you know.

 Why am I writing this? You see, because I
 had sometimes problem with saying no,
 the need for approval, the fear of abandonement,
 low self-esteem ect. And sometimes it is
 crucial to say no and in that way be true
 to yourself. Of course in our human history it 
 was to much "no" and not enought "yes", like
 saying:"we are against this, we are against
 that ect." And it is important to focus on this
 what you can do, what you "should" do, what
 is worth to do. Because when there is too
 much no, you are living life of denial, you
 miss the positive, productive direction.
 So, it is more effective to say:"meditate,
 be quiet, seek the Self, forgive, love ect."
 Of course there is still limit to that because
 Self is free and without any strict rules
 of expression, in a way any demand, any
 "should" is a possibility for inner conflict.
 On the other hand, there is many pointers
 towards awareness, towards inner peace,
 joy and love which your Spirit can recognize
 and be sort of awake to it. That's how usually
 change happens, how awareness is growing,
 how you are born again. So, say yes to the
 now and be aware of your choices. Be the
 love which you are. Be the heart which is
 pure. Be the silence which is vast. Be the
 beauty which is eternal. Be yourSelf.



         love & Peace



     

Simple Massage

Photo by: Over_Kind_Man



 During the day you can observe how the
 temptations to judge your brother or
 sister arise, when the mind will belive
 those thoughts it will instantly attack.
 It can happen outside either verbally
 or in the extreem phisicaly. Other option
 is that you may turn the attack upon
 yourself. In both situations we have
 inner conflict, so the way out of this is
 to be attentive and when the thought,
 reaction arises be vigilant and not to
 follow it, just being the space of awareness
 for it. Usually it has energetical imprint in
 the body, so that might be very helpful to
 observe inner body at this moment. This
 is simple massage of forgiveness, simple
 massage of Christ. In this way you disindentify
 from the conditioned past and free yourself
 and those around you. It is often very
 tempting to belive that problem is outside,
 in somebody else. Yet, Byron Katie says:
 "If I belive that you are my problem, I am
 insane". Luckily it is true, so the peace is
 in your hand and you are not the victim
 of circumstance.


           peace & love :)



    

Satsang Online

 
 


 There is many teachers in this time
 who have their satsangs online, it is
 either old and filmed or live, in real
 time. It is true that most of that will
 be just filmed on some retreat or
 other ocassion and smaller part will
 be live, but anyway there is now
 huge availability of that information,
 presence in modern media. The most
 is perhaps on youtube.com, there
 you can search by your favorite
 teachers name and voila. Here is
 another interesting site:

 www.here-now-tv.com

 Althought here many films
 are in german, but still you have
 quite much material in english.


       take Care :)

Just Watching

 

  
 Yesterday we were with my Mom in Cracow,
 we went inside shopping center and my first
 reaction was: "I don't like it", but I was observing
 that and discovered that perhaps that's part of old
 conditioning. I just starded to watch people's faces,
 because in our Pcim I see very little folks, so that
 was a chance, possibility. I put my glasses on and
 started to be really attentive to visual perceptions of
 humans, especially faces. After while it was so addictive,
 I was in a kind of bliss, like all this seemed to be so
 beautiful, I noticed that I was afraid of eye contact,
 just like I didn't want to be kind of obtrusive, but on
 the other hand there was something magical in looking
 at people without fear and concerns, just really seeing
 what is there without belief in anything. My bliss was
 kind of stopped when some young man came and asked
 us for the meal, he had a bit aggresive aura but my Mom
 gave him anyway some pennies, I didn't have anything
 of cash. He started to talk something about himself, that
 he was in prison and before that in seminar for 14 years.
 We looked in each others eyes but I felt still some fear
 inside myself. None the less I in a friendly gesture
 holded his hand and wished him all the best. He was
 with some girl and she called him to go, and finally he did.
 My Mom didn't belive what he was saying, I did partly.
 She said that still she always gives them something if
 she can because it is already quite a humilation for
 somebody to ask in this way and she honores that.
 I thought: this is a very delicate way to look at this,
 but still in some situations perhaps I wouldn't give.
 But I can't define it really, it is just a matter of the heart,
 you feel it or not.


        lots of love :)
 

Sudarshan Kriya and Sleep

 hi


 My friend told me that you can also do sudarshan
 kriya just before sleep, then you don't watch your
 body afterwards but go into sleep. Since I have
 some sleeping problems once in awhile I thought:
 let's try it. And last night was really very good
 when it comes to sleep. I also had one day break
 from computer screen and that was also helpful
 I guess, but none the less, kriya did its magic.
 
 Before that I took a bath and that also helps in
 good sleep and good kriya/meditation, so perhaps
 that was a bit lucky day that I did everything
 correct, but anyhow it is good to see that it
 works on that level. I mean, of course Spirit is
 eternal and doesn't need any improvement, but
 since we have form here it is helpful to take
 good care for it while it lasts. Basicaly all the
 embodiment of realization is concerned with
 this level and I liked what Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche
 said on this topic: "it makes difference simply
 because we have form here and function throught
 form". Aha, sudarshan kriya is a breathing
 practice which Sri Sri Ravi Shankar is teaching.

 www.artofliving.org



      take Care :)    

Ending of Time

 

 hello

 For last few days I read "Ending of Time"
 by Krishnamurti, it is his talk with David Bohm,
 who was physicist and a friend of Albert Einstein.
 Just as I had very hard time to read his
 "Krishnamurtis Notebook", so here it goest much
 nicer and fluent, I might say I even enjoy it. He would
 like to end time without use of time, hahahhahahaha.
 And that seems to be quite logical, but most often the
 process takes time. It seems to be a paradox, but when
 we can accept few paradoxes with open heart and in
 the spirit of not-knowing than this is not such a problem.
 Well, you see, that is my experience, I had few flashes
 of light, than I had huge awakening and experience
 of Self and then it starded to deepen. I know it might be
 more radical and instant and that seems to be the case with
 Jiddu Krishnamurti, so he was trying to convey the same
 principle to his audience. He said in the first chapter that
 he one night in India just woke up in the source of  Energy
 and this state was lasting. Some place else he says:
 "I wake up in meditation". So, meditation is, just like the
 truth is and there is no separate I.   OK, Eckhart Tolle had very similar awakening and 
 then he claims that it also deepened, his opinion was
 that even if it is so sudden and radical there is still
 a period of grounding and assimilation of That to
 day-to-day activity. I don't want to take any side here,
 but my experience is close to the Eckhart case and idea.
 And the I doesn't have to be the ego, that can be the Spirit
 with his infinite space and light.

Results of the Meditation Experiment

 hi :)


 It seems that I always talk to mySelf anyway, but still
 it might be more amusing to hide and play like if I
 don't know you, than, it is rich and always new and
 unexpected. My little meditation experiment fall
 short pretty quickly, well it seems I am too much
 conditioned to meditate and couldn't really do
 even without formal meditation. I started or stopped
 by doing kriya around 5 a.m. with intentien to relax
 and fall deeper into sleep. It was working somehow,
 probably not very deep sleep, but it was for 3 more
 hours and relative rest, relaxation. So, this morning
 I again did sudarshan kriya and feel good. Probably
 some parts of Reality come to know itSelf by practice
 and some other parts by no-practice. Of course,
 the assumption is that still some parts exist at all,
 and that might be seductive in destructive, conflicting
 way, but as far as language is limiting I presume that
 this will be OK explanation at this moment.


      be the Love