Kundalini Again

 Photo by: Aussiegall 

 

 Well, they call it kundalini, some others call it Holy Spirit, still some others Spirit of God or Shakti ect. Name is not so much important, more this what it is and eventually what to do with this. Probably if you are into spiritual life for some time already, you know that it is energy in your body which is suppose to rise from your root chakra to the top of the head. Last night had difficulty to sleep and there was much of this kundalini, my approch to this is very simple:"let me not interfere and let it does its job". Of course when you are sensitive, you will notice that certain things will help in swift movement of that energy and some others might be disruptive and come in the way. Like for instance shower or bath helps in this process, so is the healthy, vegetarian diet. It seems that drinking much water also is recommended. Walking in the nature or being in the nature might have good influence too. I was watching my mind while it was happening because I realized that despite all of this advancements in the body it is still my thinking that can create stess and needs to be questioned. Aha, some people say that kundalini is actually only this part of the process where this movement gets to the root chakra and starts to move upwards because at least in my case the Spirit started to descend from above the head and moving lower, but of course that is a matter of definition and I don't belive that it is of great importance.When our peace is concerned it really is secondary. Perhaps what is needed is kind of trust that this Energy or you can call it God is doing the best for you and everything will be fine in the end. I read recently about Katie Davis that after her initial awakening it took 12 years for the body to integrate it. Adyashanti was writing that even after his "final awakening" this energy was cleaning things in the body for 2 or 3 years and some kind of deepening took place, so let me be open and not know what this is and what it means.

        love

   

Last Weekend

Photo by: Tinyfroglet 

 This last weekend I again had break from computer, not to count watching movie with my younger brother. It was hard to resist. Saturday I was not meditating, but meditation was happening anyway, when I came back from the shop I felt a bit tired and lied down, then I started to feel much movement in the body of energy, I was crying and laughting, this lasted maybe an hour or so. When I stood up I felt much lighter and kind of very happy. This energy was doing something on my left arm, but also on the back of my head and in other places. Sunday I had some little meditation and was reading some book by C.S.Lewis "Horse and His Boy", it was quite interesting, much fantasy and adventures. Outside it was very wet weather, slippery roads and muds everywhere, so it didn't feel like going anywhere, but I did went to the church with my younger brother, just to make some walk. He was baking for us some cake and was talking a story of his last dream, then he was smiling and I saw a great beauty in his face. Last night sleep was very good. Today morning had again short meditation. Still, my left side of the body feels heavy (especially around neck and ear), but it takes time for healing to take place. During those days I was looking for stressful thoughts to do eventually "the work" on it, but most of the time I was aware of the feeling in the body and not of the thoughts. OK, so be it. I notice, notice, notice.

      be the Love :)

 

Death and Responsibility

Photo by: Blmurch 

 This was last audio with Katie on this CD which I got from my friend. Very short but heavy case, man couldn't live any more with his wife and left her, then after 3 months she asked him to help him with some paper work, he came, then after helping her she shot herself. I am not sure about the details, but the point was that he had terrible guilt feelings because he belived that he could do something to avoid it. Yes, this was intense session, but nonetheless he finally saw that he couldn't do better and that death of his wife wasn't his responsibility. He found peace within himself and with his wife in his head and heart. Katie said that only horror is in our heads and perhaps this lady really did the best she could, because she didn't know the other way to stop the hell inside her mind. Then I started to watch some more videos with her on YouTube, I liked especially the one with two black girls, one was about racism the other about prejudice around the same issue. I will give you the links here:

 Black or White 

 Prejudice

 Maybe you will like one more video, which is about "the work" and the place to which it takes you, she is talking here about her own experience of peace:

Your Kind Nature

In the evening I was listening to some more Gangaji, (being in peace - audio) she was talking about embracing everything the way it is. She often calls that "stopping" where you don't try anymore to change or improve your experience and just are the space for it. She was talking with some man and in one point she said:"this stillness doesn't need for anything to be still" :)

  take Care 

 

Husbands and Wives

I am still going with B.Katie, last session
was about husbands and wives. One man had
story like:"my ex wife lies when she tells
me that she loves me and want's to be with me".
So after some more questions it came that he
would be ecstatic boy without this thought
and looking forward to be left again if she
will find another man :)

The other part was work with a couple who
was in the room, so Katie was giving questions
to both of them simulatously, althought it
was woman who came to the sit and started the
process. Her story was:"My husband should listen
to me" and "He needs to be clear in communication
with me". She was angry and yelling at him when
she belived her story. Because her husband was
sitting next to her and was listening, Katie proposed
that he would say "thank you" to any complain she
is sharing with him, next to it she asked woman to
speak directly to him. At the end of a process she
invited everybody to make exercise with eye contact
and watching what kind of stories are running in our
heads and than ask this question:"who would I be
without my story?". That was some novelty, never heard
about this exercise before. Methapor for this was:"that
is perfect communication, no words are necessary" :)

I did my own work on:"B.Katie is heavy", you probably
guess by now who is heavy, hahahhahahhahaaa :)


love & Light

Byron Katie Again

Yestarday I listened again to Byron Katie, this time it was about "Fathers and the Sons", many different situations but always this issue between parents and the childeren, especially fathers and the sons. It seems to be very old game that parents want their childeren to be happy and succesful and childeren want to be accepted and loved by parents. One man had issue about his son disregard for education and wasting his potential. What came out in the inquiry was that he is wasting his own potential :) What you see is usually your projection, otherwise there is only love. At one point she said something interesting that age is only concept. This day I did short meditation in the morning and later I had a bit energy problems, like little too much tension around head. Last night dream was quite strange: there was somebody, was looking at my eyes and while he looked I felt this scary, huge presence and I felt it above my head, almost kind of exploding my head, then I guess, I got somewhat scared and wake up from the dream, but it wasn't good sleep last night. So, this morning there wasn't sitting meditation. But the spring is knocking on the doors and sun becomes stronger and stronger. Snow is melting, birds start to be more vigourous and alive. There is something very beautiful and pristine in the air.

love & Light

You Are My Projection

Photo by: Mikebaird 

 There was Byron Katie again yestarday in the form of an audio tape with title as stated above. Here comes to my mind the thought which she often repeates:"forgiveness is seeing that what you think has happened, didn't". She was working with three women, all of them had problems with relationships and again and again it came out that they were seeing outside what wasn't there, it was just themselfs. One lady had a lot of grievances to God and Katie was turning that around also on her, like for instance:"God needs to give me intimate realationship, which I asked Him for" turned to "I need to give myself intimate relationship which I asked myself for". Then she was saying that the deeper you go into "the work" the more you see that anybody who comes your way is a perfect mate, because it is yourSelf. When there was issue of sex she just stated that it is enought to be straight and honest:"do you want to have sex with me?" and there is yes or no, if you invite somebody to cinema or restaurant and have this intention to get some more from them, then perhaps that can be manipulation and lack of honesty from your side. Of course five minutes later answer can be different then now, but it is now which is important and integrity and honesty now is the key. Two ladies were crying and it was pitty that I couldn't see it. I felt that video transmission has this advantage over audio that you can see fully emotional comunication happening, for it are not only the words that matter.

      be in Peace

Saturday and Sunday

 Photo by: Linh.ngan 

 I had two days break from internet, my sleep was better because of this. I think it was saturday morning when I was singing some song to Holy Mother and was crying. I felt when Energy which can be probably other name for Holy Spirit went inside my left arm, left side of a neck and I felt how it was dissolving something heavy there. It is not over yet, I am observing that process for last 7 years or so. In those days I was also busy with "the work", some of my stories were:"my mom is perfectionistic","she is manipulative","my dad is greedy","my dad is agressive","he wants money from me","he is fascist" (about one of our neighbours),"it is all the same" (while painting). So, as you can see in this mindstream there is still quite much stressful stories, well, that keeps me busy :)

This morning had again short, silent meditation and feel all right. For the first time since few days there is wonderful sun and full of light, joy, atmosphere outside.

        be the Love